A few years ago, a mysterious serial-killer caused panic on Crippen High School. The killer was never caught. A movie company, Cosmic Pictures, has decided to make a feature movie about these events - on location, at the now abandoned school. Since members of cast and crew disappear without a trace, it seems as if history is repeating itself...
Richard Brestoff....Arthur Lyman Kastleman
Vince Edwards....Richard Birnbaum
Panchito Gˇmez....Choo Choo
Brendan Hughes....Steven Blake
Scott Jacoby....Josh Forbes
Michael Eric Kramer....Donny Porter
Your eyes don't deceive you... it does say George Clooney!
The enigma that is Return to Horror High has still not been solved to this very day. More of a spoof flick than a horror film, Return to Horror High pokes a little harmless fun at the horror genre. The title suggests that it's a sequel, it's not. It's just attempting to spoof countless other slasher films. It would have worked too if the director could have made more sense out of the writer's material (even though he had a hand in the screenplay, I'm pretty sure the writer's were all high). Too many flashback sequences and movies within movies make it terribly hard to follow. So the film just falls flat by its twist ending within twist ending. Also hurting the film was the audience reaction. Most people don't get it; it's not meant to be a serious horror offering. And those who do get it don't find it that funny. It's simply too muddled. I can't make much sense out of it either to tell you the truth. I don't know what this movie's about, I don't know what the filmmakers were trying to, and I don't care. You know why, because it's terrible and hilarious in all its glorious retarded splendor. If it had made sense, I don't think I would have laughed so hard. Utter trash that's utterly hilarious. Some familiar faces include Marcia Brady, Alex Rocco, Brendan Hughes (Howling VI), and even a pre-fame George Clooney. Serious horror buffs shouldn't bother themselves with it. But if you want to see a flick that in no way can be pieced together and is near impossible to figure out, check out Return to Horror High. Now, if only someone would do a prequel; they could just call it Horror High.
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